Relevant Life

Life has a way of bringing disappointment when we least expect it. People will let us down. Friends may walk away. Someone we trusted may hurt us. People we’ve helped may forget what we’ve done for them. There may even be moments when we look around expecting someone to stand beside us, only to discover that we’re standing alone.

The question isn’t whether we’ll experience disappointment. The question is what we’re going to do with it. Are we going to experience the disappointment, learn from it, and move forward? Or are we going to build a house there and live in it?

That’s the message I want to share with you today: Don’t live in the let downs.

Even Paul Was Let Down

Sometimes we imagine that strong people of faith somehow avoid disappointment, but Scripture tells us something very different. Near the end of Paul’s life, he wrote some incredibly personal words to Timothy. Paul didn’t pretend everything was okay. He openly acknowledged that someone had hurt him.

In 2 Timothy 4:14–15, Paul says:

“Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will pay him back for what he did. Watch out for him. He violently opposed what we said.”

Think about that for a moment. Paul was spreading the Gospel, serving God, and fulfilling his calling, and somebody still intentionally caused him harm. Following God doesn’t mean people won’t hurt you. Doing the right thing doesn’t guarantee people will treat you right. Having a good heart doesn’t guarantee everyone will have a good heart toward you.

Paul didn’t deny what Alexander had done, and he didn’t minimize it. In fact, he warned Timothy about him. There’s an important lesson here: forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen.

You can forgive someone and still recognize that their behavior was harmful. You can release bitterness and still establish boundaries. You can love people and still use wisdom concerning who you allow close to you.

But notice something else about Paul’s words. Paul doesn’t say that he’s going to get Alexander back. Instead, he puts Alexander in God’s hands. There’s tremendous freedom in reaching the point where you can say, “God, I’m giving this person and this situation to You.”

When Nobody Stands With You

Alexander wasn’t Paul’s only disappointment. What Paul says next may have been even more painful.

In 2 Timothy 4:16, Paul writes:

“At my first hearing no one stood up in my defense. Everyone abandoned me. I pray that it won’t be held against them.”

Imagine standing at one of the most difficult moments of your life and looking around for the people you expected to be there, only to discover that nobody showed up. The people you encouraged aren’t there. The people you helped aren’t there. The people you thought would defend you aren’t there. You’re standing alone.

Some of us know exactly what that feels like. Maybe you’ve experienced a broken relationship and discovered that people you thought would always be there suddenly disappeared. Maybe you’ve lost a job, experienced financial problems, been disappointed by family, been betrayed by a friend, or watched someone you loved walk away. Maybe you’ve spent years helping other people, only to discover that when you needed help, nobody seemed to be around.

Those moments hurt, and Paul understood that pain. Yet look at his response: “I pray that it won’t be held against them.”

Paul had every reason to become bitter, but instead he chose grace.

Don’t Let What They Did Change Who You Are

This is where Paul’s experience becomes personal for all of us. Don’t allow someone’s failure toward you to create a failure within you.

Someone else’s bitterness doesn’t require your bitterness. Someone else’s dishonesty doesn’t require you to become dishonest. Someone else’s betrayal doesn’t require you to stop trusting everyone. Someone abandoning you doesn’t mean you should spend the rest of your life afraid to love people.

Sometimes we give the people who hurt us far more power than they deserve. They may have hurt us once, but then we replay that hurt for years. We carry the conversation, the betrayal, the anger, the disappointment, and all the unanswered questions. Eventually, something someone else did becomes something we’re carrying everywhere we go.

That’s when a let down becomes a place where we’re living.

You can’t always control what people do to you, but with God’s help, you can decide what you’re going to carry forward.

When Everyone Leaves, God Remains

One of the most powerful parts of this passage comes immediately after Paul tells us that everyone abandoned him.

2 Timothy 4:17 says:

“However, the Lord stood by me and gave me strength so that I could finish spreading the Good News for all the nations to hear. I was snatched out of a lion’s mouth.”

That first word is incredibly important: However.

Everyone abandoned Paul. However, the Lord stood by him.

Maybe someone has left your life. However, God stayed. Maybe someone disappointed you. However, God remained faithful. Maybe the people you expected to stand beside you disappeared. However, the Lord is still standing with you.

Paul discovered something in one of his loneliest moments that we sometimes forget during our strongest moments: God’s presence isn’t dependent upon people’s presence.

People can leave without God leaving. People can fail you without God failing you. People can change their minds about you without God changing His purpose for you. Sometimes, when the voices around us become quiet, we finally recognize the One who was standing beside us the entire time.

God Gives Us Strength to Finish

There is another important part of 2 Timothy 4:17 that we shouldn’t overlook. Paul says that the Lord stood beside him and gave him strength so that he could finish spreading the Good News.

God didn’t simply comfort Paul. He strengthened him to finish.

There’s a difference between the two. Sometimes we want God to remove the situation when God wants to strengthen us to walk through it. We pray, “God, make this easier,” while sometimes God’s answer is, “I’m going to make you stronger.”

Paul had been hurt. He had been opposed. He had been abandoned. Yet his assignment wasn’t finished, and neither was he.

That’s one of the biggest reasons we can’t live in our let downs. There’s still something ahead of us. There’s still purpose ahead of us. There’s still somebody we can help and encourage. There’s still something God wants to accomplish through our lives.

Don’t allow yesterday’s disappointment to steal tomorrow’s assignment.

The Lord Will Get You Through It

Paul continues in 2 Timothy 4:18:

“The Lord will rescue me from all harm and will take me safely to his heavenly kingdom. Glory belongs to him forever! Amen.”

Listen to the confidence in those words. Paul’s confidence wasn’t based upon whether people would stand beside him. His confidence was in God.

Paul had learned through experience that people could abandon him, circumstances could change, opposition could come, and life could become incredibly difficult, but God would remain faithful.

That doesn’t mean every situation will turn out exactly the way we want. Faith isn’t believing that God will make every circumstance comfortable. Faith is believing that whatever happens, God will remain God.

Paul understood that his story wasn’t ultimately in Alexander’s hands. It wasn’t in the hands of the people who abandoned him, and it wasn’t even in the hands of the Roman authorities. His life was in God’s hands.

And so is yours.

Don’t Let Disappointment Isolate You

Something interesting happens immediately after Paul talks about being abandoned. He begins sending greetings to people he cares about.

In 2 Timothy 4:19, Paul says:

“Give my greetings to Prisca and Aquila and the family of Onesiphorus.”

It’s easy to read past that verse, but there’s something powerful happening here. Paul had been hurt by people, but Paul hadn’t given up on people.

He still had relationships. He still cared about others. He still valued community. He was still connected.

That’s important because one of the greatest dangers of disappointment is isolation. When someone hurts us, it’s easy to decide, “I’m done with people.” We build walls around ourselves because we believe that if nobody gets close enough, nobody can hurt us again.

But those walls that keep pain out can also keep love, friendship, encouragement, and healthy relationships out.

Don’t allow one person’s actions—or even several people’s actions—to convince you that everyone is the same. Don’t allow one betrayal to rob you of future relationships. Don’t allow one disappointment to make you suspicious of every person God brings into your life.

Wisdom says, “Learn from what happened.” Bitterness says, “Never trust anyone again.”

Those are two very different things.

Live in the Lessons

So what should we do with our let downs? We learn from them.

Maybe the experience taught you to establish better boundaries. Maybe it taught you to stop depending entirely upon people’s approval. Maybe it revealed something about a relationship you needed to see. Maybe it made you stronger, deepened your faith, or taught you that God was standing beside you when you thought you were completely alone.

Whatever the lesson is, take it with you—but leave the bitterness behind.

Don’t live in the let downs. Live in the lessons.

You don’t have to deny what happened. Paul didn’t. You don’t have to pretend someone didn’t hurt you. Paul didn’t. You don’t have to continue trusting someone who has demonstrated that they cannot be trusted. Paul warned Timothy about Alexander.

But you also don’t have to spend the rest of your life carrying what someone else did.

Put it in God’s hands. Learn from it. Grow from it. Then keep moving.

Your Disappointment Is a Chapter, Not Your Whole Story

Maybe you’re walking through a let down right now. Someone disappointed you. Someone walked away. Someone hurt you. Maybe you’re standing in a season where you expected people to show up, and they didn’t.

Remember Paul’s words: “Everyone abandoned me.”

But don’t stop reading there, because the next words are where hope begins: “However, the Lord stood by me and gave me strength.”

People may let you down, but God can still hold you up. People may walk away, but God can still stand beside you. People may hurt you, but God can still heal you.

What happened yesterday doesn’t have to determine where you live tomorrow.

Acknowledge the hurt. Learn the lesson. Give the person and the situation to God. Receive the strength God gives you, and keep moving toward the purpose He has for your life.

Don’t live in the let downs. Live in the lessons.

Your disappointment is a chapter. It doesn’t have to become your whole story.

Stay faithful. Keep moving forward. And live a relevant life.

---

From the Relevant Life Podcast — encouraging you to live your faith in a way that is relevant to the life you’re living today.