I know Christian families whose children have grown up to be outstanding believers and who serve God faithfully. I know Christian parents who truly love the Lord but their children grow up and become stable adults. However , they are not followers of Christ. Since I am a parent who has experienced the latter; I understand what most Christian parents are going through. Why do my children not follow Christ? What did I do as a parent to turn my children away from Christ? Was I a hypocrite at home? Did I pressure my children to serve God? Did I allow my children to have a choice? Should I have given them a choice? Was I not in their life enough? Did I work too much? Was I too strict? Maybe I was not strict enough….?
It is tough being parents and as our world climbs in age each generation of children face different obstacles and parents find themselves fighting to teach their children the truth of Christ. Generation Z are the children born between 1996 to 2014. Many are entering adulthood and entering the workforce. It is estimated that 71% of this generational group does not believe in God. ( Taken from Truth Source) This Generation has been plagued with YouTube videos, streaming videos, online porn, Social network sites and much more. Their minds were and are shaped by an evolving world which is moving further away from Christ. As parents, it makes it harder and harder to raise Children who will serve Christ for life.
Parents in the bible faced similar obstacles. Think about the Children of David. His son Amnon raped the sister ( Tamar) of Absalom his half brother. Absalom, David’s son with Maacah, decided to seek revenge for his half brother’s evil performed on his sister. Absalom killed Amnon and then fled the scene of the crime to hide from his father.
2Samuel 13:28-29 GW Then Absalom gave an order to his servants. \”Watch now,\” he said. \”When Amnon begins to feel good from drinking too much wine, I\’ll tell you, \’Attack Amnon.\’ Then kill him. Don\’t be afraid. I\’ve given you the order, haven\’t I? Be strong and courageous.\” (29) Absalom\’s servants did to Amnon as Absalom had ordered. Then all the king\’s sons got up, mounted their mules, and fled.
Can you imagine how David felt? His oldest son Amnon raped his own sister and one of his youngest sons decides to murder his own brother. Now David was not a perfect father but he is known to be a man after God’s own heart. He loved God with great passion. I know that he desired for his sons to do the same. However, they chose to do the opposite. Why do children grow up to be adults and behave badly?
Why Adult Children Behave badly?
1. Parents should always look within themselves first. Allow Holy Spirit to reveal any mistake and parental tactic that you failed at. David favored Amnon because he was the first born; therefore, David was willing to overlook his son’s horrendous deed. Amnon was in line to be the next King of Israel after all. David could not punish him right? Parents have the tendency to make excuses for their Adult Children’s actions in order to cover up some internal guilt. We have to own our mistakes and confess them before the Lord. Fortunately, we have a forgiving God who desires to throw our mistakes away as far as the east is to the west. Guilt comes from the enemy and conviction comes from Holy Spirit. Don’t live in guilt but live through conviction.
Psalm_32:5 I made my sins known to you, and I did not cover up my guilt. I decided to confess them to you, O LORD. Then you forgave all my sins. Selah
2. Choice: Guess what? Your adult children have a brain of their own. They can make choices by themselves. They don’t need you or I any longer. Adult children behave badly because they choose too. God gave ever human being on the planet something called “ FREE WILL”. Our children are not immune to Free Will’s possible demise.
Genesis 2:15-17 GW Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to farm the land and to take care of it. (16) The LORD God commanded the man. He said, \”You are free to eat from any tree in the garden. (17) But you must never eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil because when you eat from it, you will certainly die.\”
If people judge you for being a bad parent just tell them that you and God are in the same boat. God gave Adam and Eve free will. They chose unwisely and got thrown out of the garden. Is God a failed parent? Of Course not!!!! We all are given a choice to follow truth or not. If God did not give us Free Will then he would no longer be God but a Dictator God. Your adult children can choose to follow the truth of Christ or not. There is not much you and I can do about it. All we can do is pray.
3. Sin is a destructive force: Sin inhabits every person on the planet. Yes, Jesus died for our sins and has given us power to overcome sin’s power. However, sin is still in the world. It is like a leech that tries to attach to everyone’s life. Once attached then it begins to suck the life out from the host.
Romans 3:23-24 GW Because all people have sinned, they have fallen short of God\’s glory. (24) They receive God\’s approval freely by an act of his kindness through the price Christ Jesus paid to set us free from sin.
How to help your adult Children?:
1. Pray for them: Jesus was very clear. Our greatest weapon as believers comes in the form of bended knees and folded hands. Pray puts our hope and faith into the hands of the one who can change hearts.
2. Choose to be in their lives no matter what. I see many Christian parents disown their children if they turn from the faith. This is not a biblical truth. Jesus did say unless you are willing to give up father , mother, or children then you are not of me. The meaning to his words are simple. Every believer has to make the choice to follow Christ no matter what. Your sinful children need you more than ever in their lives. Choosing to stand up for your faith in front of them regardless of their reaction is following Christ. Now don’t be so spiritual minded to be no earthly good. The Love of God is unconditional and we should be in our children’s life to demonstrate his love. My children know that I will stand , always, on the side of Christ. They know Christ is number one in my life but they also know that I am going to love them no matter what.
3. Don’t be afraid to offend them: I have seen Christian parents follow two extremes. Some might totally disown their children while others might choose to be in their children’s lives. However, they are cautious of what they say and do around them. You should respect your children’s choice but they should respect your views as well. Keep your faith strong and pure before the Lord. Again don’t be so religious. Let Holy Spirit convict not you. You and I do not have the power to convict an ant. Holy Spirit in us is the one who convicts hearts. Sometimes , as parents, we forget this truth.
For more reading on this subject please click on the links below. I am not associated with any of the ministries listed below but found their articles intriguing and on topic.
http://www1.cbn.com/books/dr-gary-chapman-parenting-your-adult-child
https://www.rejectedparents.net/five-ways-to-move-on-after-an-adult-childs-rejection/
https://www.crosswalk.com/slideshows/10-things-never-to-say-to-your-adult-children.html
Relevant Life 
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